Without Rhyme or Reason
by SilverTonguedLiar
Summary: AU: Avengers at Hogwarts. "When Tony realized he would be going to a detention in the Forbidden Forest with five people he barely knew, he could tell it would end badly. Just not like this." Eventual Brony, with a dab of Clintasha and Steggy.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'm sorry! D': I know I should be working on Sweet Pain, but this bunny attacked and won't let go. So. Anyways. Yup, Avengers and Hogwarts... I dunno what I was doing...**

**Hope you like it anyways...? *hides*  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers or Hogwarts, because if I did I would be a very rich and happy person. I also don't own the detention letter, the format was used from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.  
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**R&R!**

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Tony Stark was in detention.

Pfft. That was nothing new.

But in the Forbidden Forest? Oh, this was going to be fun.

And with five other people, including goody-two-shoes Steve Rogers, he could've rubbed his hands together and cackled maniacally in the great hall.

He didn't, though, because he had to see who else was going to detention with him- Rogers he already knew because he'd heard Potts and Carter from Hufflepuff blabbing about it, but the rest he had no idea.

Though it didn't really surprise him when prankster Clint Barton's owl delivered him his detention letter while he was stuffing himself with scrambled eggs.

Tony scanned the tables, watching. Owls fluttered everywhere, bringing sweets and letters from doting parents, but he was watching only for the plum-colored ribbons tied around the short scrolls listing detention.

Natasha Romanoff, a red-headed Slytherin, got one, as well as Thor Odinson, a fellow Griffindor.

Jarvis, his barn owl, landed on the table to perch on the butter dish, his detention letter clamped in his beak.

"Hey, Jarv," Tony said, breaking off a piece of toast and feeding it to the bird in exchange for his letters.

The owl chirped once, nipped affectionately at Tony's finger, and circled above his head before going back towards the Owlery.

Tony searched the crowd, but there were no more purple ribbons to be seen. _Damn_, he thought. _Guess I'll have to wait until tonight to see who the fifth person is_.

"Dude. Dude. Dude. Earth to Tony! Am I gonna have to dump this pumpkin juice on you?" his best friend Rhodey asked, waving his hand in front of Tony's face.

"No! Sheesh, Rhodey." Tony rolled his eyes, before craning his neck to look at the Ravenclaw table.

"What's got you so zoned out?"

"I'm looking for the people I have detention with," Tony replied, taking a bite of his toast.

Rhodey groaned sympathetically. "Who do you have?"

"Rogers, Barton, Romanoff, and Odinson. Dunno the last person."

His friend looked surprised. "Rogers? Wonder what he did to get in detention. He's such a stickler for rules." Rhodey shoved in a mouthful of cereal before motioning toward the letter. "Come on, open it."

Tony shrugged, unrolling the scroll, but before he could start reading a moronic Hufflepuff yelled across the hall.

"Hey, Stark! Looks like you landed yourself in detention again! Whaddaya do this time, huh?"

"Oh, just a trick- but don't worry, Hammer, it's still better than anything you could do in your whole life," Tony called back in a bored voice. Barton snickered while Hammer spluttered angrily before the joker met Tony's eyes and grinned. Tony smirked back at him, before turning his attention to the parchment still clutched in his hand.

_Dear Mister Stark_,

_Your detention will take place at eleven o' clock tonight._

_Meet Professor Coulson in the entrance hall._

_Signed,_

_Professor Maria Hill_

_Deputy Headmistress_

Oh, yes. This was going to be fun.

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**A/N: Also, I changed the title to "Without Rhyme or Reason" instead of "Hopeless Searching" so I hope you guys don't get too confused...**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: More stuff... yeah...**

**Also, I'm really sorry my chapters are so short. :( I'm trying...  
**

**By the way, I am in the process of writing another chapter for Sweet Pain, so it should be done soon. :)  
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**Disclaimer: Don't own Avengers (boo-hoo D:) or the world of Harry Potter. Kudos to Marvel and J.K. Rowling.  
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**R&R!  
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* * *

Tony sauntered down the stairs to the entrance hall, a butterbeer he'd spiked with some firewhiskey in one hand, flipping a Galleon in the other. He'd left the common room with Rhodey's best wishes and the request that Tony would give him his broomstick in his will- since Rhodey was sure Tony would be murdered at the hand of Professor Coulson.

When he arrived, he thought Rhodey just might be right- everyone else was there, and Coulson was tapping his foot menacingly.

"You're late, Mr. Stark."

"_Fashionably_," Tony corrected, taking a swig of his... butterwhiskey? Firebeer? Whatever.

Coulson didn't look impressed. "As you all know," he began, "you are all in detention for... various occurrences."

Rogers looked positively mortified, while Barton just gave a cocky smirk. It was then that Tony realized who the fifth person he hadn't noticed at breakfast was.

"Wait, _Banner_?" Tony said incredulously, laughing. "_Robert Banner_? Oh, this is just too good."

Banner just raised an eyebrow in confusion. A quiet Ravenclaw, he had a brain to rival Tony's, but never, _ever_ got in trouble.

"You're even less likely than Rogers." Tony said, regaining composure.

Rogers flushed, his face aflame with embarrassment.

"Careful, there," Tony pointed, "You get any redder and you'll spontaneously combust."

Coulson interrupted testily. "Yes, yes, we all know each other. _Now_," he gave Tony a deadly stare. "You are here for _detention_. So shut up and listen."

Tony gulped down the rest of his drink and continued to flip his Galleon lazily.

Coulson continued. "The centaurs have reported a large sighting of maimed or killed creatures, etc. etc. Your job-" he pointed at them. "-Is to try and figure out what has caused these disturbances."

Banner's and Roger's eyes widened, while Romanoff just snorted disdainfully. Odinson leapt up excitedly.

"It shall be a great adventure, my friends!" He bellowed.

Tony rolled his eyes while Barton hissed, "It's _detention_."

Coulson led them out of the entrance hall to the edge of the Forest.

"You'll take this path," he gestured, "And I'll be watching, just in case anything goes wrong. So don't mess around."

"I really think he was a secret agent ninja in his past life," Tony commented solemnly.

"If anyone's a ninja here, it's Romanoff," Barton smirked.

Romanoff narrowed her eyes at him.

"Ok, ok! Don't kill me." Barton backs away, hands up.

Rogers scowled. "We have to get going."

"You're in detention too, in case you forgot. You're just as bad as the rest of us," Tony said, jabbing him in the chest.

Barton rolled his eyes. "No one's as bad as you, Stark."

Tony smiled innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Romanoff pushed between them. "Shut up and _go_," she said, shoving them further down the path.

If it had been anyone else, Tony wouldn't have listened, but Romanoff could probably kick him into next week, so he and Barton obeyed.

The rest of the group followed, and multiple mutterings of "_Lumos_," could be heard.

"What's that, Stark?" Barton asked, pointing to the faintly glowing circle showing through Tony's robes.

Tony glanced down and pulled his cloak to cover it. "It's nothing," he muttered.

He heard Odinson talking to Rogers behind them.

"Friend Rogers, why are you present with us in detention?"

Tony noticed Barton perk up beside him as Rogers stammered. "I- well... uh,"

"He was snogging Carter in the Charms classroom," Tony chimed in smugly. "I heard her and Potts talking about it."

Barton cackled as Rogers spluttered in embarrassment. "No! I, uh-"

Romanoff rolled her eyes. "Suck it, Rogers, everyone knows it's true."

"Well, what did _you_ all do?" Rogers asked angrily.

"I enchanted a ball of dragon dung to hover over Hammer's head and fall down every time he said something," Barton said happily.

Tony smirked. "Nice one, Barton."

Barton grinned in return before calling back to Banner. "What'd you do, Banner? Must've been impressive to land yourself in detention."

"I... uh..." Banner started nervously.

"Spit it out," Tony said, looking down the path illuminated by his wand.

"I threw a jar of squid eyeballs at Blonsky," Banner said gloomily. "Cost me fifty points."

Tony and Barton howled with laughter while Banner ducked his head, a blush blooming on his cheeks.

"Oh, that's good..." Barton gasped, wiping his eyes.

Even Romanoff had a satisfied look on her face. "I remember that," she said, "The look on his face was priceless."

"I'll bet," Tony grinned.

Rogers scowled. "I'm surprised you're not gloating about what you did, Stark."

Tony wagged his finger at him. "Ah-ah-ah, I don't- oh."

Rogers raised an eyebrow in confusion. "'Oh'?"

Tony stared down at the path, where some kind of animal had been mutilated beyond recognition. Bloody pulp was smeared over the grass while shards of bone glinted white in the moonlight.

Rogers and Banner looked sickened while Barton went white. Even Odinson was quiet for once.

Romanoff crouched next to the remains and levitated something off the ground with her wand. "I think we found who it is," she said.

It was a tuft of grey fur.

Werewolves.


End file.
